Admitting when we are full of shit

This past week(end) was my favorite week of the year.  It was the Wild Goose Festival.  Now, most of you know how The Rager Family feels about The Goose.  We have high expectations every single year.  This year was no exception.  Shane and I ran the Beer Pavilion as well as trying to put out (little) fires that would pop up around the grounds. (not literal fires, but figuratively speaking).  We also had my parents hanging around this year to see what it was about.  I couldn't understand why they wren't taking the time or advantage to visit tents for talks and music.  It didn't take me long to figure out that they didn't go for that.  When I come home, I talk about the people.  I speak about my family that lives all over the United States and abroad.  I speak about the wonderful times I have for those 3 days with people that are so near to my heart.  I'm so  blessed that they decided to get out of their comfort zone and spend a few days in the North Carolina mountains.  Just waiting to see if it's going to rain all day? Is the humidity going to melt your face? How much sweat can one t-shirt absorb?  They met my other family...and they loved them.

   In my last blog, I talked about MS.  Not a lot.  But enough for me to re-read and let you know how  much of a fucking liar I am.  I used the word PRAY....a lot.  I used it because I wanted it to be true.  I wanted everyone to think that I still have my shit together. Well....I didn't....and I still don't.  The truth is, I wasn't praying.  I couldn't pray.  I wouldn't pray.  Why would I pray when I couldn't feel God?  I kind of wanted to yell.  I wanted to ask why.  I wanted some answers.  But I just felt like God was a little busy for me and wan't 'home'.  So...my dear friend told me that I could lean on him, my friends, and family until that time passed.  They would be enough.  He was right.
     This weekend, I felt God EVERYWHERE.  I heard God EVERYWHERE.  I saw God EVERYWHERE.  God has always been there, I was just looking past Him.   But this weekend, He presented himself so that I couldn't look past.  You can't deny the presence when you look into the eyes of Jesus as he washes your feet.  I am so grateful for a God that uses 'regular' people to show others how much they are loved just like he used his Son.

    So today, I say the last blog....I was full of shit.  I wasn't praying for anything. Today....Praying...it's what I do.  I do it well. <3