What time is it?

Here it is the last day of May and I am still thinking that it really wasn't that long ago I was getting ready for my grandmother's funeral. (That was on Valentine's Day). Really? Grandma has been gone for almost 4 months?
   She's been on my mind so much lately. I think it's the garden.  No. I know that it is the garden.  I'm dealing with rabbits for the first time.  I have 'volunteer' veggies growing from where we dumped out some of the canned veggies from the jars I inherited.   My back is killing me and it just now struck me....is it from helping Shane or is it from hoeing the garden? I guess it could be both. :)
    I guess what I'm mostly thinking about is how she lived. Everyday she lived with such great love. I never heard her say a mean thing about anyone. She never screamed religion down anyone's throat, but you knew where she stood. You knew because she wasn't afraid to say it and she wasn't afraid to show it.
    It has taken me a long time to be able to show it without hiding ANY part of it.  I have/had friends and have family who feel that it is NOT OK to be friends with non-Christians.  I have sugar coated it for years on my feelings. (there was always an agenda) NOW HEAR THIS: JANIE RAGER WILL BE ABLE TO GET ALL OF THESE PEOPLE TO ACCEPT JESUS CHRIST AS THEIR LORD AND SAVIOR!!!!  Wow. That sure does sound humble.   I have come to realize the only thing that I can do is to Love. Love people where they are. I can't change people. God does that by working through me. He has called me to LOVE. Love Everyone.....even the unlovable.  It sucks sometimes.  Sometimes I have to love my family who has treated me like the enemy because I don't 'fit' in their conservative frame.  Sometimes I have to love my family who doesn't treat me at all because of the embarrassment I cause by looking the way I do.   Sometimes I have to stay away from family because I think that it is best for everyone to NOT feel uncomfortable.  I am not ashamed of my love for Jesus, my tattoos, my 'beauty, my views that seem too 'liberal' for you, or anything in between. I'm ashamed that I was quiet for too long.  I'm ashamed that I didn't stand up for persecuted people earlier.  I'm ashamed I didn't love more just because, instead of having a hidden agenda.
       I will love more like Christ. Which is how Grandma Mollie lived.  She loved without expecting ANYTHING.  She loved me just like this, which is exactly the way Jesus loves me.